Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

In this commercial parody, a married couple (Steve Martin, Amy Poehler) are confused by their money woes, so a spokesperson (Chris Parnell) presents them with Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford, a guide to prevent financial debt. [Season 31, 2006]



Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford Script

Wife.....Amy Poehler
Husband.....Steve Martin
Spokesman.....Chris Parnell

[ open on couple trying to balance their checkbook ]

Wife: (sighs) I just can't get these numbers to add up.

Husband: Like we're never going to get out of this hole.

Wife: Credit card debt, does it ever end?

Spokesman: [walks in] Maybe I can help.

Husband: We sure could use it.

Wife: We've tried debt consolidation companies.

Husband: We've even taken out loans to help make payments.

Spokesman: Well, you're not the only ones. Did you know that millions of Americans live with debt they cannot control? That's why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt. It's called [presents book] "Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford."

Wife: Let me see that... [grabs book, reads] "If you don't have any money, you should not buy anything." Hmm, sounds interesting

Husband: Sounds confusing.

Wife: I don't know honey, this makes a lot of sense. There's a whole section here on how to buy expensive things using money you save.

Husband: Give me that... [grabs book, looks at it] And where would you get this saved money?

Spokesman: I tell you where and how in Chapter 3.

Wife: Ok, so what if I want something but I dont' have any money Spokesman: You don't buy it.

Husband: Well let's say I don't have enough money to buy something. Should I buy it anyways?

Spokesman: No-o-o-o.

Husband: Now I'm really confused!

Spokesman: It's a little confusing at first.

Wife: Well what if you have the money, can you buy something?

Spokesman: Yes.

Wife: Now take the money away. Same story?

Spokesman: Nope. You shouldn't buy stuff when you don't have the money.

Husband: I think I got it. I buy something I want, and then hope that I can pay for it right?

Spokesman: No. You make sure you have money, then you buy it.

Husband: Oh, THEN you buy it. But shouldn't you buy it before you have the money?

Spokesman: No-o-o-o.

Wife: Why not?

Spokesman: It's in the book. It's only one page long. The advice is priceless and the book is free.

Wife: Well, I like the sound of that.

Husband: Yeah, we can put it on our credit card.

Spokesman: [shakes head]

Announcer: So get out of debt now, write for your free copy of "Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford." If you buy now you'll also receive, "Seriously, If You Don't Have the Money, Don't Buy It!" Along with a 12-month subscription to "Stop Buying Stuff Magazine." So order today!

International TableTop Day

Geek and Sundry Announces this Saturday, April 30th, 2016, is the International TableTop Day.

In celebration, Amazon has huge discounts going on for TableTop games:

"For a limited time only while supplies last, up to 40% off strategy board games for TableTop day. Discount is only applicable to items sold by Amazon.com. Also, for an even greater value, take advantage of FREE Shipping (restrictions apply) and Prime (restrictions apply)."

 List of retailers observing International TableTop Day.  Find Community Events near you.

Free Comic Book Day in May

Free Comic Book Day coming 1st Saturday in May (May 7th, 2016).  Use the Store Locator to find a local participating comic shop.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Bill Nye chimes in on the Star Wars vs Star Trek debate.

... Star Wars is all about magic, royal family drama and sounds in space ...

... Star Trek is all about an optimistic scientific view of the future, and exploration ...

Top 5 Super Bowl Ads of the Year

It was a fierce battle, though only one team could come out on top. Oh wait, we're talking about the ads! The votes are in and here are the Top 5. 1 Lost Dog Budweiser That collective "Awww" you heard wasn't about Tom Brady's grin. America's pup was back to pull our heartstrings. Now let's go collectively feel some feelings (and maybe grab a Bud). 2 The Brady Bunch Snickers Bad-guy actor Danny Trejo takes on a famous "Brady Bunch" scene, proving that even Marcia, Marcia, Marcia isn't herself when she's hungry. Stick around, because you won't believe who plays Jan. 3 Revenge Clash of the Clans The Best Use of a Celebrity award goes to this spot featuring an angry Liam Neeson — we're talking "Taken" levels of aggression — chewing out his nemesis in a mobile game. If only. 4 Pill Fiat Fiat has come out with a new model that's bigger, wider, and, well, sexier. Their game-day spot credits the new changes to a frisky couple, a series of unlikely events, and a little blue pill. 5 My Bold Dad Toyota Toyota's tribute to dads may have caused more than a few of us to tear up during the game. We dare you to hold back those feelings as a father shows his daughter he's always there for her.

DevinSuperTramp - Return to the Shire - New Zealand

DevinSuperTramp did this awesome video on "Return to the Shire - New Zealand".  DevinSuperTramp does a lot of cool 4K videos of various spectacular locations and events.

Echoes of Christmas

Our family enjoyed an evening at Echoes of Christmas hosted in Liberty Park of Salt Lake City. It was an enjoyable evening of live signing, animals (even a camel!) and the Christmas story. Even the kids had a good time. You can tell it was a good time when your kids go from running around and rowdy, waiting for our turn, to quiet and paying attention.

"Echoes of Christmas is a Live Nativity that features 7 original songs that bring the true meaning of Christmas into our hearts. This 40-minute walking tour is a free event and open to all. Make this a family tradition. Dress Warmly."

Dates and Location

Dec. 11-13 & 15-17, 2014

7-9 PM, starting every 5 minutes

Salt Lake City’s Liberty Park

(enter from 900 S. at 600 E.)

Of course I had to geek out and traced a map of our path, along with stopping points, on my phone's GPS.

Blizzard Epic Black Friday Sale

Blizzard's black friday sale has Diablo III and StarCraft II for 50% off the base games. (and 75% off on World of WarCraft, if you are into the subscription game). Sale ends December 2nd.

BlizzCon 2014 - Virtual Tickets

BlizzCon begins tomorrow (Friday, November 7th - Saturday, November 8th). For those who are unable to attend in person ($200 sold out), Blizzard is also providing remote virtual access to the convention. BlizzCon Virtual Tickets can be purchased for $39.

"The Virtual Ticket gives you a front-row seat at BlizzCon from the comfort of your own couch."

The Virtual Ticket Includes:

• Panels, Interviews, and Exclusive Content
• Contests
• BlizzCon In-Game Goodies
• Closing Ceremony - performance by Metallica
• On-Demand Replays - available for 2 weeks past the event

Danny Macaskill: The Ridge

Danny Macaskill takes on a death-defying mountain bike ride along the notorious Cuillin Ridgeline at the Isle of Skye in Scotland

Danny Macaskill: The Ridge - YouTube

Blowing Stuff Up with a Quadcopter

Destruction by Quadcopter

And now for something completely different...

What do you get if you attach a machine gun to a quadcopter?

 

Prototype Quadrotor with Machine Gun!

And if you fear the drones, here's a fun way to defend:

Johnny Dronehunter: Defender of Privacy - Official Trailer feat. Salvo 12 Shotgun Silencer

Watch out for the shockwave

Watch out for the shockwave...

Volcano Eruption in Papua New Guinea

The eruption of Mount Tavurvur volcano on August 29th, 2014. Captured by Phil McNamara.

VMworld 2014 - Sights to See

San Francisco sights to see, within walking distance of the Moscone Center.

San Francisco Bay

Golden Gate Bridge

Alcatraz

Pier 39 and Fisherman's Warf

San Francisco City Hall

Chinatown

Grace Cathedral

Cable Car Museum

Coit Tower

Lombard Street

Ghirardelli Square

Evermore Theme Park Coming to Pleasant Grove Utah

Evermore Theme Park

A new theme park, by the name of Evermore Park, was announced last week at the Salt Lake Comic Con FanX (April 17th-19th, 2014).  Evermore Park will be a fantasy theme park in Victorian London Era covering more than 45 acres.  Evermore is being described an adventure park, with a fully immersive theatrical experience to rival Disneyland.

Evermore will be opening in 3 phases, with the first phase to be completed in 2015.  Evermore will be open year around and covers 3 seasons: autumn fest (haunt attractions), winter fest (lighting displays), and summer fest (fantasy carnival).

The Park will include elaborate gardens, attractions, a bay and retail shops.  "The park will also feature a three acre lake, a 2 acre town square with a performance stage, four elaborate gardens, and five large attraction spaces, all staffed by a large cast of professional performers."  The main courtyard and retail shops will be free access with the individual attractions will be ticketed separately.

The Evermore Park vision comes from Ken Bretschneider, the creator of the Evermore Pumpkin Fest.  Ken registered the Evermore Park, LLC in September of 2012.  The Evermore Pumpkin Fest hosted more than 5,000 people at Ken's home in October for the Pumpkin Fest, to celebrate the announcement for the Evermore Park.

Area just north of Pleasant Grove Boulevard and North Country Boulevard

Evermore will be built in Pleasant Grove, just north of just north of Pleasant Grove Boulevard and North County Boulevard..

Construction is expected to start this spring with a goal of having a good portion completed by Christmas.  It is expected to fully open in 2015.

See also:

• Evermore Facebook
• Evermore Park | Salt Lake Comic Con
• Pleasant Grouve Council Minutes - Review of Conceptual Site Plan for Evermore Theme Park

Video Games Live in Utah - Tickets on Sale Today

Video Games Live

Video Games Live is coming to Utah on September 6th.  Tickets have gone on sale today.  The event is being hosted by the Utah Symphony at the Abravanel Hall.

Tickets can be purchase for Video Games Live! at ArtTix.  There is an 11am and 8pm showing.  Prices start at $18.

Noah Man

Noah Man

(I want to preface this review by saying that if you are wanting to go see an uplifting classical version of the Biblical "Noah and the Ark" story, don't waste your money.  You will just end up with a hate for both Noah and the Creator.  But if you are just wanting to watch something that appears to be Marvel Comic's latest popcorn movie, this may be for you.)

Spoiler Alert

Marvel Comics has brought us Spider Man, Ant-Man, X-Men, Iron Man and now their latest super hero: Noah Man.

Noah Man is the ancient hero that would save the world by removing the biggest threat of all: mankind.  This film has everything, including super natural rock monster warriors, breath taking scenery, medieval knights, Eco terrorism, women's rights, attempted infantile murder, fire and water special effects, incestuous procreation and creepy animals of all kinds.  If you are wanting to watch Russell Crowe as a mad man like you have never seen him before, your biblical stories thrown out the window, watch Emma Watson basically carry the show, and end up rooting for the bad guys, then this is the movie for you!

Noah Man receives a dream that the world will be destroyed by water and to build an Ark.  To decipher this dream they travel to see Noah Man's grandfather Methuselah.

Marvel has brought in Thor's father (Anthony Hopkins) to be Noah's grandfather Methuselah.

Thor's Father Odin

Noah's grandfather Methuselah

Noah's grandfather even comes with super human powers and a flaming sword!

Methuselah's flaming sword

Methuselah was once an awesome warrior who protected these supernatural rock monster's called the "Watchers"  (yet another thing that looks like it came straight out of a Marvel movies).  Now he has been reduced to a senile old man craving berries from the forest.

It is determined that Noah Man's dream means for him to build a boat (ark) and save all the innocent animals of the Earth, while all mankind (including Noah Man's family) are to be exterminated.  So they sprout a magical forest and get to work on chopping down the trees.  (an action that seems very contradictory to Noah Man's tree hugging eco agenda, wouldn't you say?)

The supernatural rock monster warriors called "Watchers" (aka Nephilim), are fallen angels that came to help Adam, were punished by the Creator for doing so, end up helping Noah build the Ark and then defending Noah's Ark from the onslaught of hungry and starving men.  (interesting to note that there is no mention of these out of place supernatural rock creatures in any of the movie trailers, gee I wonder why?)

Watchers in their pre-fallen angel like state

Watches in their rock like form

The "Watchers" have a special power that when they die they explode.  In one heart warming scene, Noah's pet rock monster scarifies himself, by committing a suicidal self bombing (literally tearing himself open).  This needless self sacrifice clearly turns the tide of battle, as this inexplicably triggers the flood tide waters to fully commence.  (he he he, catch the double meaning?)

Watches suicidal bombing

And we of course can't forget Hermione Granger (Emma Watson)... I mean... oh, I can't even remember her character's name.  But needless to say Hermoine saves the day again. (update: she plays Ila)

Hermoine plays... someone

Hermoine plays the damsel in distress, who is barren and can't have children.  (which makes her less then a second class citizen, as it is repeatedly stated in one scene, that only "real women", who can have babies, are worth anything)  Hermoine then spends a good portion of the movie hiding from Noah, who is determined to kill (I kid you not!) her unborn baby(s).  (Wait what?  She's pregnant?  Didn't I just say she was barren?  Wait what?  Noah is a psychopathic killer?  Good old Thor's father Odin had thrown a curve ball, and had given Hermoine some magical pixie dust to make her go into heat in the next scene, just to throw you a curve ball to keep you from getting bored.  And she of course ends up pregnant.)

It turns out that Hermoine being able to procreate directly conflicts with Noah's eco agenda of mankind's extermination.  This causes the "good" Noah to go on a psychopathic homicidal attempted infantile hunting spree, as they bounce around on the water, long enough for her to come to full term.

Noah's Ark

In the end everything works out like a Disney movie, and everyone lives happily ever after (well besides the million/billion who died a few scenes earlier).  Through Hermoine's over the top acting and tears, Noah Man has a change of heart.  Noah Man is a complete failure and is unable to complete his Eco agenda of stopping the diseased spread of man kind.  As self punishment for his failures he gets completely wasted on muddy looking alcoholic drinks and ends up naked on the beach.  Another happy Marvel Movie ending.

* Note: all images were borrowed from Google Images

SubRip Subtitles Time Adjustment Tool

I have been working on updating my Plex movie database with SubRip Subtitle (.srt) files from OpenSubtitles.org. One of the subtitle files I downloaded had the timing off from the voices. Very distracting.

OpenSubtitles.org - the biggest open subtitles database - http://www.opensubtitles.org/en

So I wrote up a Python script to adjust the timings of the .srt file and posted it to GitHub. You pass the movie .srt file and the time shift, and it outputs the modified subtitle file.

git clone https://github.com/oeey/srtshift

python srtshift/srtshift.py movie.srt 2.5 > movie_fixed.srt

# play movie and check subtitle timing, the commit the change with
mv movie_fixed.srt movie.srt

SubRip Subtitles

SubRip is a "software program for Windows which "rips" (extracts) subtitles and their timings from video.  SubRip is also the name of the widely used and broadly compatible subtitle text file format created by this software."

SubRip files are named with an extension .srt.

Formatting

SubRip files are formatted with:

1. A numeric counter identifying each sequential subtitle
2. The time that the subtitle should appear on the screen, followed by --> and the time it should disappear
3. Subtitle text itself on one or more lines
4. A blank line containing no text, indicating the end of this subtitle

Example

1
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,000
Elephant's Dream

2
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,000
At the left we can see...

Download

The SubRip subtitle files can be downloaded online from a variety of sites.  My personal favorites are:

• OpenSubtitles.org - the biggest open subtitles database - http://www.opensubtitles.org/en
• SubScene - http://subscene.com/subtitles

Plex

To have Plex Media Server work with SubRip (.srt) files, simply name the srt file the same as the movie file name with a '.eng.srt' (for English) extension.  Plex will automatically pick up the Subtitle file on the next Library refresh.

For example:

Frozen.mp4
Frozen.eng.srt

Extracting

If you can't find the subtitle file online, and you have the DVD, the SubRip Windows software can actually extract the subtitles from the DVD.  Unlike Closed Captions, Subtitles are not stored as text on DVDs, but as bitmap images.  SubRip uses OCR technology to convert the images to text.  This does require work on your part.  As the OCR scanner finds new unrecognized characters it will ask you translate them.

Plex Media Server

Plex Media Server (http://plex.tv/) "bridges the gap between your computer and your home theater, doing so with a visually appealing user interface that provides instant access to your media."

Plex allows you to play your collection of movies, music and photos from a variety of devices, such as a computer, Smart TV, Roku, cell phones, tablets and others.  Through the online Plex Service you can also share your media collection with friends and family.

Plex has a server download for Windows, Linux and Mac.  I have had the best results (least issues) with the Linux 64bit version.

---

Plex Installation

Plex is really easy to install.  Plex can be downloaded from https://plex.tv/downloads

For Windows, you run the simple installer executable.

For Linux, you download the appropriate rpm/deb.  The following example works for Fedora 14 or CentOS 6 (or newer) 64bit

# as the root user...

wget http://downloads.plexapp.com/plex-media-server/0.9.8.18.290-11b7fdd/plexmediaserver-0.9.8.18.290-11b7fdd.x86_64.rpm

rpm -Uvh plexmediaserver-0.9.8.18.290-11b7fdd.x86_64.rpm

service plexmediaserver restart

To access the Plex web interface visit http://127.0.0.1:32400/web/

To use the online Plex Service you will need to open up port 32400 on your firewall.

Contre Jour

Contre Jour

Contre Jour - http://www.contrejour.ie/

Chillingo has made a fun little physics puzzle game, you can play online for free.  You will need an updated browser that supports HTML5, such as Firefox or IE10 to play.  For a few bucks you can also buy it on the Apple/Android/Windows store and play on your phone/tablet.  The game physics are similar to World of Goo.

"Blurring the lines between interactive art and games, Contre Jour showcases a beautiful but haunting world shaped by the interplay of light and darkness. Utilizing intuitive touch controls and set against a poignant orchestrated score, you’ll guide a mysterious creature (named Petit) through organic and machined levels by manipulating the very environment itself. Pull, swipe, and tap gadgets such as tendrils, air geysers, and pulleys to complete clever puzzles."

• Intuitive touch controls let you interact with the environment in delightful and surprising ways.
• Sixty levels of mind-bending puzzles to explore and play.
• An emotional musical score by famed composer David Ari Leon adds a level of sophistication and heart to the game.
• Directly inspired by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's legendary story, The Little Prince (French: Le Petit Prince).

For a bit of fun trivial, Contre-jour (French for "against daylight") is a "photographic technique in which the camera is pointing directly toward a source of light, which produces backlighting of the subject and creates silhouettes and emphasizes lines and shapes."

Contre-jour photography